What Actually Happens in the Counseling Space

On Sunday morning, August 28, 2022, there was a prompt in a group to which I belong on Facebook.

It is called “The Back Row With Nik Oakes.
The meme she posted reads:
“Fairies hate iron
Demons hate salt
Vampires hate garlic
Dragons hate knights
Werewolves hate silver.

If one thing was your bane what would it be”?

My comment says,

“Apathy. Not a lull, but a modus operandi.
Maybe the giving up. Resignation of life.
An unwillingness.
I have a lot of compassion for it, but there is no seed to ignite.
(Too philosophical for a Sunday morning)?”

After posting this comment, my hand took me to my journal and out came this cauldron of my being:

“Here’s what I do:
I come alongside
whispering seeds of value
Spelunking for the ember
of self.
The seed not yet fertilized
Or, only partially so
Conditioned to serve an other.

Discovering Truth
Values held deep within
only demonstrated
vaguely, and
often without recognition.

The patience
the safety
the faint collaboration
You don’t realize
You’re leading.

I’m here, yes
But, only conditionally so
You
are the condition.
I back off
I approach
The dance of attachment
Where wounds
previously festered, got
picked at, not rightly
healed.

They inflame
at the slightest provocation
Yet, safety is paramount.
I accept
Let you see me
The relief
of not focusing.
on you.

For a tolerable time.
Only this space
starts to breathe.

You feel it too.
The energy between us
expands and retracts
We are all three dancing the dance.

“Can I do this?”
You consider
choosing again
and again
The pain of contact
can be too great
a price.

So, the dance,
continues
Not obvious,
at first.
New neuralpathways form
The wounded one
hides,
or nods
or silently cries.
Shivers,
A shout,
a sigh,
A cough, burp, or shrug.

Who’s really here?
And can she show up?

Sometimes you become her
Not seeing the child.
You look through her eyes
and describe.

Then I’m the only
adult in the room.
The pain is too great
& yet
healing looms.

Now the dance
is between
The Adult, Child, and Carer.

Greater than you
The Nature
The Bearer

We pause to allow
Your Truth to emerge
No agenda
Preconceived
The allowance
of sorts.

Who is the True Self
Fragments known
some expressed.
We allow for the healing
The Balm
of tending.

She knows what she needs
Deep down in her heart
She’s meant to be met
Only there was no one then.
To allow
To attend
To witness
To bear
The safety, soft sensing
‘Everything I can bear.

For you,
My dear child
There is nothing remiss
You are simply feeling
As all humans can.
Our sense of the world
the rightness
the wrong
deserves to be felt
processed
passed along.

With you
All is right
feeling it all
expressed to an other
validated
acknowledges.

For then
it passes through
the lesson processed
No need to hold
in shock
in your hands.

I’ll remain
regulated
so you can allow
Your truth to
spring forth
to ripple
through you.

Maintaining connection
The best that I can
Letting you learn
Emotions are Guides.
Teaching you the wonder
of all you possess
You’re here for this journey
& and all your experience
can be used
for your good.

Be brave, Little One,
As I’ve demonstrated
most of the time
To yourself
be dedicated.

To all that you are
Value, Love, and decide
You are worthy
& precious
Celebrated
& Wise.’

We learn
that you wished
there had been
someone
saying this to you
As you grew
Metabolized
and tried to share
all your truth.

But, there wasn’t you see
and now there are three
The committee
You see
Adult, Child, and ‘God’
Whole
Connected
Set Free.”